This Is The End of This Project But Definitely Not of Lesbian Sex

I’ve been reading every single thing on the Internet about lesbian sex that wasn’t written by creepy dudes on 4Chan for three months now, and I learned a lot. Firstly, sex education often reinforces homophobic beliefs and judgements that, in turn, make students feel isolated, confused, and hurt. The Internet is one of the only sources of information queer women have access to that relates directly to their experiences and sexual needs in an affirming and safe way, and benefits to Internet sex education include instant updates and access to information, anonymity, privacy, interaction, sex-positivity, affirmation, community-building, socialization, and a sense of belonging. Drawbacks to Internet use include psychological disorders, a reduction in relationships quality, isolation, and loneliness, and thus education must not stop online and must allow for queer people to exist in physical space.

I’ve also laid out tips for queering the classroom and an emotional essay about queering the world, which I am hopeful nobody will find if I ever run for office or do anything of the like.

The project gave me a lot of feelings: as someone involved in the very act of lesbian sex, and as someone who actually did learn about it online, I’ve been having all of these memories and emotional readings of blog post. So here I am.

What does it all mean?

Queer ladies are more equipped now than ever to have healthy and meaningful sexual relationships with each other. They can meet online, become comfortable in their own skins online, and even look at free erotica and pornography online. But again, that isn’t enough. Queer people live online a lot these days – and the queer Internet remains a hot topic to be studied and analyzed – but that does not excuse the willful ignorance of educators and families who refuse to acknowledge the normal and natural sexual lives of queer people. This research led me to desire, more now than ever, to make incremental change on this front and allow more queer people access to this information. Why are so many queer people living online? When do we get to live in the real world?

Moving forward, I think this research provides a strong foundation for further qualitative efforts to improve curricula for sex education at all levels that is offered. Similarly, it provides very strong resources for educators at Autostraddle, Sugarbutch, and Scarleteen that should not be ignored, for they are immensely popular within young queer circles.

The Internet has often been disregarded as a space for “fun,” “socialization,” and “wasting time.” We click through Facebook photos instead of going to sleep and we send emails in class. We are perpetually connected and people fear we are losing our ability to communicate in real life. But when you look further, and deeper, you find an intrinsically beautiful thing inside of the wires and the networks and the login screens: you find a home. Queer people have managed to carve out very welcoming, affirming, and important spaces online, and as such I would be eager to see data on how it improves the state of the entire gay union. (And someone should find out how big the gay union is, because it’s growing by the minute on Autostraddle Social.)

I am hopeful that soon the lessons apparent online for educators, policymakers, and administrators about queer people and their sexual health and education needs will be visible, will be insurmountable, and will scream loudly to be recognized. I am convinced we are on the brink of something very important.

I am still dreaming of the day where we talk about lesbian sex in the classroom. But for now, I will continue to log in instead.

Images always found innocently via Tumblr. Please let me know if it’s yours!

One thought on “This Is The End of This Project But Definitely Not of Lesbian Sex

  1. I know that you will continue to pursue this until it’s a reality! And, know I’m in your corner, cheering you on and doing whatever I can to support you in achieving this goal.

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